3:45 am

QUESTIONS I FIND MYSELF ASKING.

Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

How do they get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?

Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Should a person with a beard wash it with soap or use shampoo? Should someone invent beard shampoo?